When you’re on the cusp of a huge life change, it’s normal to worry. It’s normal to be concerned about the future and feel uncertain about what happens next. Some things are fully within your control and others…you just have to wait and see. But you can’t force comfort and success takes time. And frankly, as I’m staring down a brand new life in Colorado, I’m sorta freaking out.
Follow my trip to Colorado on Twitter!
Everything is about to change. New house. New hobbies. New friends. New life. I’m nervous….but extremely hopeful.
I’m worried that I’ll struggle to make connections.
I’m convinced that the biggest struggle facing new adults is making new friends. The beauty of things like college is that everyone starts off on the same foot. You show up ready to meet anyone and everyone. People are open and welcoming, and conveniently just down the hall. This makes building friendships so much easier!
But when you’re the new guy in town, not everyone is as open to new friends as you are. They’ve established their tribes. They’ve found their people. And they just aren’t really looking for any new friends right now.
Unless you have that all-important in, you’re completely on your own trying to convince people that you’re worth having around. It’s honestly worse than dating.
And you’d think, having moved to DC and made a bunch of new friends there, that I’d be more fresh at the friend-making game. But I got lucky in DC. I had an awesome coworker who welcomed me into her friend group with open arms. Now, in Colorado, I’ll lack coworkers (freelance life, woo!) and be fairly deep into the suburbs. I won’t even have proximity on my side!
So yes, I’m nervous—but not without hope! I have a few friends in the area and I’m willing to put myself out there…so I’ll meet people eventually, right? Right?
I’m worried that I won’t be successful.
Kicking the 9-5 in favor of a more flexible lifestyle is challenging. It’s something I’m learning more and more about every day, and despite having been focused on it for quite a while now, this is the first time I’m really taking the full-time freelancing plunge. It’s scary! And I’m legitimately worried that I’ll not succeed.
What if I can’t pay my bills? What if I’m never able to save for retirement? It’s one thing to have a side hustle while you have the protection of a 9-5 gig, but to take away that cushion…it’s a bit terrifying. I don’t know if I would have been ready to make this plunge if not for the perfect opportunity that has fallen in my lap. But the nice thing is that I can directly impact whether or not I’m successful. While I worry that it might be a struggle, I know that if I put my head down and tough it out, I can do this. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little anxious.
I’m worried that I’ll need help.
I think every 20-something worries that they’ll have to ask for help. There is nothing more frustrating that having a college degree (or two), having work experience, and having a path you want to follow…and still having to ask for help. You feel like you should be okay by now; that everything should be working out and you shouldn’t need anyone to help you stay afloat. But with all these changes, I’m worried that I’ll have to ask my parents for help (…again.)
It’s no secret that I moved home after college to save money and establish myself, and I don’t feel bad about that at all. I was 23 and had basically nothing. It’s not exactly unheard of. But now I’m older and I’m worried that I’ll have to do it again. True, I’m moving out to Colorado to watch my parent’s house, so in a way, they are already helping me, but I’m also helping them. What I’m more worried about is when they do finally retire and move into the house, will I be able to move out? By now, I was really hoping to be a little more independent…but I guess I should really just be grateful. Grateful that I have an amazing support system that allows me the opportunity to take a chance and do something amazing.
I’m worried that Colorado won’t feel like home.
I’ve wanted to move back to Colorado since forever. I’ve always been driven by this weird desire to return home. But every time I’ve visited, I’m always taken aback by how…not exactly perfect it feels. I mean, I’ve spent most of my life on the lush and green east coast. It only makes sense that the arid west feels a little odd to me. Usually, after a few days I don’t feel so out of place, but those first few days always throw me off.
What happens if I make this huge life change and then never feel at home? I’ve moved so many times over the course of my life and no place has ever really felt permanent. What if I arrive and I just…never settle in? What if this place that I’ve built up in my head for years is just another place? I won’t know until I get there, and even then, the future is always uncertain. I’m just really ready to find a place where I finally feel like I belong!
I’m worried that nothing will change.
My biggest fear is that after all of these huge changes, that I will arrive in Colorado and nothing will actually change. I’m worried that I’ll still feel out of place; That I’ll end up in a job that doesn’t fulfill me; That I’ll feel the same way I felt in DC. And nothing feels like a greater failure than to change everything only to realize that nothing has changed at all.
I said before that I like the person I am now better than the person I was when I first moved to DC, and I hope that after a few years in Colorado, I’ll be able to say the same thing again.
On Conquering Fear
Just because I’m worried about these things doesn’t mean they’re holding me back. I still plan on giving it my all and I know I can handle whatever this move brings my way. I am in charge of the direction my life goes in from here on out and while I can’t control the outcome of this move, I can control the way I react to it. Rather than get discouraged when things don’t go right, I plan to use the potholes and detours to enrich the experience. After all, as long as you do what you love, everything else will follow, right?